This past winter killed us. It killed our spirit, our will to continue living in Canada, it required me to research alternate places to live where coats were NOT allowed. My god, it made me SKI. Yes SKI. Kelly SKIED. Kelly wanted to learn to SKI. It was almost apocalyptic.

We spent a weekend in Collingwood SKIING ( I just had to mention it again ) with friends at a chalet and that was it. It had a hot tub and suddenly we realized what we must do. We must purchase a tub. It would allow us access to the outdoors at -30. It would allow us to enjoy the winter nights, and most importantly, it would be required après tobogganing. Our brilliant catch phrase that was concocted one stormy March night as we ventured to the local hill around 10PM. We’ve even planned the t-shirt production…but I digress. So it has been a number of months and a zillion conversation in which we exclaimed:

‘Of corse we need one! Let’s do it!
‘Holy shit hot tubs are expensive, let’s ditch that idea.’
‘Nope we need one, winters SUCK!’
‘Well…maybe we should save the money, put it against the mortgage?’
‘That’s a TERRIBLE idea, we need a tub!’

Troy and I are notorious for our lack of commitment to anything, we’ve established, aside from our relationship, and this purchase is big for us. Monumental really. I mean, I’ve been wanting to change my dining table for 10 YEARS but just can’t quite find the one I want, or rather, the one I want is too expensive so I do nothing. I can’t commit to one season of a TV show so I start 20 and never finish any. I can barely commit to bring my kids to birthday parties because I’m just not sure what I’ll be doing that day. We are going on vacation in a few weeks but have neglected to select a hotel because we just can’t seem to commit to a departure date. We are that ridiculous.


This is a big however, we can totally commit to the ludicrous ideas … no problem. Want to move to a town you know nothing about? Sure, it has a potato festival, seems right. Want to write a book series with no education on book writing, while you’re pregnant? You bet. Should we extend the house and put in a second bathroom, and perhaps live in something over 1200 square ft with 4 people and an 80 lb dog? Nope, let’s turn our shed into a bunkie that we can party in instead. Should we buy a european hot tub that we can carry on our bicycles? OF CORSE!

That is when Troy found the Dutch Tub. The most spectacular and fantastic item that everyone should own. I mean, look at this incredible beast. You light a fire to heat the water…a wood fire! You can take it on top of your fecking car, you can bike with it – I mean could there be anything more incredible then showing up at your friends house, and be like, oh wait, let me unload my hot tub, we’ll just place it right here and boom. Party in a driveway.


And then we googled the images. Amazing.


Just place it on your truck.


Pile 20 kids in it. Boom.


Take it to a bar of corse.


Bike it around town. Naturally.


Slap it on a raft and giver to your friends cottage. Yes.

We were ecstatic. Giggling like we had won the lottery. THIS was what we were going to buy. Sadly it was way over budget and the small problem of shipping to Canada was just not in the cards for us. So while we just bought a Canadian made tub yesterday, we sit with a mixture of excitement of our purchase and melancholy over our beloved Dutch Tub. You will be gone but not forgotten. Onwards and upwards to our next incredibly dumb idea! Should we sell everything and live on a boat? Hmmmmmm…