So a few months ago I decided to stop posting updates to Facebook. Not that anyone really cared that I left, why I left, or why I decided to start up my feed again today. But regardless, I thought I would write a bit about it for those that have nothing better to do at work other then waste time reading about what I have to say. I’m all for shirking work responsibilities – be free!

So during my hiatus I realized how much more time I had to focus on work, on myself, on writing — it was shocking. I’m not sure if you’ve ever timed how much you waste on FB, and I never did, but once I didn’t feel this incessant need to check (creep) what people are doing on there, it was freeing. I won’t lie, once a week or once every 2 weeks, I’d log in, see what was up and bob’s your uncle, that was it. I didn’t have anything to respond to, I didn’t have any comments to read on my posts. It was just a quick breeze through on whose kids are doing what, what hijinks my Irish friends are up to, whose drinking what on the weekends, you know, the important stuff.

There were a few folks who missed my posts and for those wee folks, I’ve decided to keep the dream alive and rejoin the social media Facebook world. You’re welcome :)

But on another note, there are some things that continue to annoy the SHIT out of me. There are some wonderful people on Facebook that do not, and will not ever, understand my brand of humour and that’s OK. I’m quirky and what I find funny, many other folks just don’t get, I understand that. I encourage you to unfollow me, if you must, I’m totally OK with that.

So to make an informed decision, there are a few things you should understand about me and what I post on social media:

1. I swear, a lot. Yes I fucking do.

2. I have no filter between work and personal. I run my own business, I’m successful because people understand who I am. I don’t have a business Kelly and a separate personal one. We are one and the same, and I’d prefer it if you didn’t tell me that what I write will ruin my chances of getting hired one day. Thanks for your concern, but it’s moot. I totally get people who have to do this, but I’ve chosen to live/work in the same world and I’ve built my business around like minded clients who love working with me, and the candid approach I have to my work.

3. My posts have typos (this is for you Mom), but a lot of the time it’s because the post is coming from my Twitter feed which will only allow 140 characters, so yes I might write ‘u’ instead of ‘you’, it’s CALCULATED. Or as I might write in Twitter ‘calc’. Ok that didn’t really make sense, but you get the drift.

4. This next point is prob (see, another abbreviation) the most important point of contention with me, the posts about my kids. Yes I write things about them. Yes I make fun of them. Yes I complain about the annoying and crappy things that stem from being a parent. Yes I do all of these things. But if you know anything about me, you know that I don’t take anything in life seriously. AT ALL. And that starts with my family. We all do funny/stupid things, but the difference is that I’m a writer. I write. So yes, my family is my muse, I write about them.

What a crap story, if I wrote shit like this:

Finn was such a special boy today. He learned how to differentiate between a dime and a penny.

Like who the fuck cares about that.

Not me. Ever.

I’ve gotten comments from people about how my kids will hate me when they are older for writing these things. I disagree wholeheartedly. I’m teaching my kids 2 very important lessons in life: never take yourself too seriously, and for gods sake, get a sense of humour. Oh and Mum is hilarious… OK 3 life lessons…

I’d also like to preface the other dumb comments I’ve gotten with a blanket statement if you will:

I love being a mother (most days), I love my husband. I love my life, I am NOT depressed. I am NOT an angry person. I am NOT sad. I’m not crazy (mostly).

I think you get the picture. So when I post something like:

I just had to use whiskey stones to ice my 6yo hand.  (March 11)

It’s a joke. I’m not actually failing at being a parent, chill the fuck down people. But to be honest, whiskey stones really are the perfect size for little kids sore hands…just saying. I’ll also save the hashtag (#) definition for my mom for another time :) Again, I love my mom, so don’t think I’m bashing her in this post either, but seniors and social media is hilarious, you have to admit.

Alright, that’s all I have to say. Please post your comments over all the crap in this post, just know that I will be making fun of you next :) Kidding…or am I?