As many of you know, we’ve been battled colds, flus, goopy eyes, coughs, snot, everything for about 6 weeks now. Oh the joys of starting a new school and daycare. So needless so say, Troy and I have been sick as well, off and on for the same time period. I am SO sick of being sick, but this isn’t what this post is about. Yesterday, Wren was in daycare and I wasn’t supremely busy with work so I decided to work in the morning and take from 12:30 until 3:15 off – I know right??!!! (3:15 is my limit as I have to get Finn at school in case you are wondering why I am so time oriented :)
My throat was sore so I thought, I should take a sick day which sounds foreign coming from my lips. Who gets those anymore? My parents are coming this weekend, I have to take a class on Saturday in the city and I thought, don’t I deserve to sit on my butt, drink tea, watch some tv and maybe have a coveted nap to recover and get well soon? I know deep down I probably do, but it was really really hard to do so. As I sat there, I pondered the client work I could be doing, the emails I should be writing, the book cover I am supposed to be making, the next book I want to be writing, the horrific cleaning that desperately needs to be done. I’m telling you it was HARD. I managed to watch a show, and rest up for about an hour and it made a big difference in how I felt, if only I could have enjoyed it for what it was instead of constantly thinking I should be doing something productive.
I mean I felt so useless that when I picked up Finn, I made a big meal, cleaned the whole house with 2 loads of laundry and moved around some furniture. When did I become someone who can’t sit and relax? I guess kids make it hard, but in another thought, I think for me I am way too to-do list oriented and it’s really hard for me to sit and chill when I see things around me that need to be done. I hate this side of me. Sometimes I find myself trying to veg out until I spy the couch cushions that are not looking how I want them to look, I see wee finger prints on my mirror, I see toys I want to put away or I see some crap I’d like to re-arrange. Then I think, oh I’ll just do that, THEN relax…except there is always something new to do.
I think back to when I was kidless and we used to trek out to the great north with friends almost every weekend. No cell phones, no TVs, books and great company is all we had and I remember feeling so different back then. Well we did drink a lot of vodka too, but I digress. I have no resolution to this dilemma, maybe I will never change, maybe I’ve got insane OCD, maybe I’m plain nuts. I know I am not the only one out there who feels like this, so to this I say pass the vino, I am taking the day off! Sorta…