This morning on my way to drop Finn at school he mentioned he really wanted me to play his fav song which right now is ‘Get Lucky’ by Daft Punk. I have to sheepishly admit I am more proud over the fact that he has great taste in music then I would be if he could spell something other then his name. This got me to thinking about kids and the little sponges they are. I’m not so sure he would know the song from the radio if we didn’t play it at home along with all our favourites… Metallica, Patsy, Madonna, anything from the 80’s, anything hair bands and if I am to be perfectly honest a little Platinum Blonde. I know kids songs can help children develop and have fun, blah blah, I mean a good old raffi song now and again are okkkk, BUT, I will admit that when Finn was born I made a conscious effort to not change who I am, or how we live, as much as was humanly possible.
Sure you can’t party until 4AM anymore, sure happy hour starts at 2 instead of 5, and definitely fucking with a sleep schedule can be a real no-no. But I’ve seen so many parents lose themselves over their kids and immerse their whole being into making their kids happy and not once thinking about themselves. If we do this, how are our kids supposed to learn the value of selfishness? Ok that was a joke, but really, do you think it makes you a better parent? I’ve had this conversation with my Mom for quite some time as she was a stay at home Mom and believes it is essential for kids to have this. I don’t disagree, but I could never sit home all day, make cookies, chitty chat with other soccer moms at the park, never once thinking about my goals, the things I like to do, the music I like to listen to, or see my friends on the weekend instead of carting the kids to another birthday party filled with a bunch of people I don’t know.
I need to work, I need to be creative, I need daycare so that I can do the things that make me happy (and yes make money Troy). If I lost that, how do my kids see that being happy is dependant on yourself and not by relying on someone else. They need to see their parents enjoying their life, so that they can make their own goals, forge their own path, wipe their own ass…sigh when can Wren start potty training?
I’ve had this conversation with a good friend who has coined this next chapter as ‘The New Normal’ which for us really consists of a life that remains constant but brings your new companions into the mix. We still head to cottages all summer, sometimes even leaving the kids with my parents which I am SUPREMELY grateful for, but we typically pile all the beasts in the car, endure the screams from the backseat, knowing there is a cold one waiting for us on the dock at the end of the day. We don’t go as often, but when we do, it is like no time has passed and we get to hang out with people who are important to us, and instead of spiking the watermelons in the afternoon, we sit around with all our little hoodlums, eat boring old regular watermelon, but still have that quality time for us. And, if I am going to be perfectly honest again, we do start happy hour right after breakfast :)
So I’m not saying in this post to ignore your kids, party it up all night, be a shitty mother. All I am saying is that being a parent isn’t always about the kids, it’s about being able to make small changes in your life to accomodate the ankle biters, but never changing who you are. It’s about having a dance party at 7am to Daft Punk because everyone has been up since 5 and actually enjoying it…or at least enduring it cause it was your own damn fault for having that second bottle of wine :)
I’m sure this guy never stopped the party – whoop!