So as I peruse all the Mother’s Day wishes and lovelies on Facebook, I am super annoyed. It’s like when are young and birthdays are so great – your mom throws great parties, you get great gifts, you eat cake and fall asleep in bliss knowing it was the best day ever. Then you are old and you realize your husband doesn’t know the extent of what he has to do for you on birthdays to make you happy so you end up scripting exactly how you want the day to flow, and they do a good job but it’s a little sucky knowing you had to plan it all out yourself. That is when I decided I hated birthdays and now I pretty much have forgotten mine altogether. It’s a good thing for me cause it makes the day easy, with no pressure and I actually enjoy it more. I admit, my glass is at a nice sarcastic half-full and I am cool with that. I don’t grumble all day long (although Troy might object) but I do believe in being real. Sorry if I offend sometimes but that’s me and I’m more then ok with that. If I didn’t push buttons or make you laugh, what’s the point? SO back to Mother’s Day… As everyone posts about how awesome the day was, and how fan-fucking-tastic their kids are, and how the day was perfect I have to call balderdash on at least half of you. Sure there are golden kids out there, and husbands who buy lavish gifts and the Mother’s Day is filled with flowers, and wonderfulness but let’s be a little more honest about how the day REALLY goes. I’ll tell you about my day: 6:45 – Wren is up and filthy as she went for a nap at 5pm Saturday and slept through – she is still in her dirty chalk filled clothes and looks homeless. 7:25 – Finn is up and is particularly in love with his new radio so he decides it is a perfect time to blare Drake upstairs. 8:00 – Wren is now in the bath and decides to crap in it once again. 8:15 – Finn decides he is just ‘having a bad day’ so he figures why not be a whiney dick all day long – success. 9:00 – Troy struggles with trying to let me sleep in, which I couldn’t as I had to assist in the poop clean up, and cook breakfast, which I actually couldn’t eat because we decided to ‘have a cocktail’ the night before which turned into taking every liquor bottle out of Nickis cupboard and making martini’s with them all. My own damn fault I know, but it did come up regularly that WE women don’t have to get up in the morning so it seemed the perfect time to do some tequila shots. Yak. 11:00 – Still trying to lay in bed with ice on my foot (some sort of running injury?) and we have NO ADVIL. My head is about to explode and I can only imagine what Troy feels like as he gallantly entertains two kids inside because it is so effing cold out. Then I start panicing about Father’s Day and all the payback he is going to deal me. I can’t even enjoy the rest as I am filled with stress over that looming shit show. 11:15 – I make Troy go get advil and I try to shower. Full on panic attacks ensue as I realize I have to play baseball today…in 5 hours. Not enough time to make a recovery I am sure of it. 11:30 – Guilt sets in leaving Troy alone with kids, so I help clean up, do some laundry and walk in a daze while Finn keeps telling me is is ‘just not happy’ today (really whiney voice included). 12:30 – I am back in bed, and gratefully have a nap (best part of the day). 2:00 – It’s fucking

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hailing outside and I have more anxiety knowing I have to play baseball while trying not to throw up in 3 hours. 3:00 – Attempt to get two screaming kids outside of this house which takes forever, cause Finn isn’t happy wearing boots, and his fingers are freezing, but he is still just ‘HAVING A BAD DAY’. Downpours after 10 minutes so they come back in. 4:30 – It is frigging snowing out now, and we are layering up for the game, praying it will be cancelled. Nope. 5:45 – My hands are so cold in my glove I can’t feel them. It is snowing so bad, when someone hits the ball I can’t even see it. My hair is soaked, I am wearing 4 layers and I am so cold I want to cry, but ‘THERE IS NO CRYING IN BASEBALL’, so I persevere. I struck out twice which makes me more depressed but – this is the best part – we called it a tie and got to go home 15 min early! Things are looking up. 7:00 – Kids are in bed, I am watching a movie all by myself cause the hockey game is on, and I realize as I peruse all the Mother’s Day messages on facebook that I hate everyone :) Well not really, but you get my point, some of you are lying through your teeth. On that note, I adore my own mom and I have to give her a shout out on making all my birthdays so great for all those years. I realize now what a crappy jerk daughter I was by not giving back in return on Mother’s Day. Hey Mom – here’s another macaroni necklace and a homemade card! Now make me supper! Joking, but probably true. PS – sorry my site is so crappy right now, I am learning more stuff on WordPress so I decided to play on my own site and things are all wonky :)