Alright, this may come as a complete shock to you all, but yes I am now a member of this Over The Hill cliche as of last week – I know right, I look so young, I’m so youthful, I’m so enigmatic, it’s hard to digest. Right. Right? Joking aside, it’s been very traumatic for me. Which is odd as I don’t feel 40, but then again, how is 40 supposed to feel? My initial confusion is drawn from my own parents 40th birthdays, in which I recall a big celebration, us kids running around and looking at all the strange sex gifts thinking ‘what the heck does that mug even mean?’ I was very naive and honestly didn’t clue into the mug meaning until I was into my twenties. Let’s not even discuss the edible underwear my dad got. No, erasing that from my memory… Next comes the stereotype that when you are out of your 30’s all of a sudden you are old. You must grow the fuck up and stop acting like, well, a fuck up. I’m thinking of the way I dress, the fact that I don’t own a second house (unless you count our bunkie – which I think I should), and that I JUST got a will made. I know, no wonder I don’t feel old — I’m barely functioning as an adult. My 23 year old friend has a will, and I didn’t. Well I do now, so halloo responsible parent! Troy and I joke that we live like university students eating bologna sandwiches and grilled cheese with nary a fancy meal in sight for my kids, unless it’s the weekend. The day after my birthday party we glanced into the fridge and booze out weighed food 10 to 1. The cupboards did not include quinoa and fancy crackers. It was
filled with gummy worms and marshmallows. I blame that all on the kids party planning influence though. So here I sit, a week into my 40’s, reflecting on my life, my choices and I have to just say it for you all, for those who are terrified of the big 40, terrified to cross that hump… I feel better now then when I was 25. So all you youngin’s out there, you have nothing to worry about! It’s all kosher, embrace it because you’re still alive and who said you had to grow up? I’m finally in control of my body, I practice yoga, I run (sometimes), I eat… well, I eat terribly, but I like fruit so that’s a plus right? I play with my kids, we pretty much have a get together with friends every weekend in which we do some sort of retarded prank, visit our responsible and wonderful friends at their cottages, or as in the case of my ‘Camp Hogan’ party on the weekend, we play spoon races and embrace dress up time with our kids in earnest. I don’t have a fancy house, but it’s a house people feel comfortable just dropping in on and staying all day for shits and giggles. We have crappy cars, but they work. Our kids don’t have iPads, but we have a TV so that’s a plus. We barely have cable, but I feel hi tech with Netflix. We tend to have a dance party in our kitchen at least once a day. Whether that is at 8AM with the kids, or 9PM after happy hour, we love to dance in this house. I’m also still toying with the idea of a teal streak in my red hair, I don’t care that I’m beyond that age of coolness, I love the look so why not? Whoever says I’m too old for it is boring, so why would I listen to them? I also bought a bikini this year and I swear I will wear it more than once and will not feel completely uncomfortable in it… well, I’ll try to feel only semi uncomfortable. Baby steps. I will continue to shop at Forever 21, although I did go out on my birthday and shop at the big girls grown up store in which I paid handsomely for a single belt. But as I age, I should be able to treat myself to the finer things, at least in belt form right? I will continue to write stories, not that it’s making me any money, but it’s a passion I won’t give up. I will continue to work short days, forfeiting a fancy career and big dollars in order to spend as much time as I can with my kids while they still think I’m
cool. Or well, until they refuse to tolerate me anymore. I end this post with sage advice from my mother in law who told us to NEVER grow up, and with that, I have found peace with being 40. Age is just a number and I was a jackass at 20, so I’m pretty sure at least I’m not THAT anymore…well most days.