So first. I’m going to preface this post with a preamble that states I don’t hate my husband/life/men in general. I’m not bashing guys either, I know a lot of women on the other side of the ratio who need to pick up their shit too. My marriage is also not in the toilet mom (as she asks me that every time I rant). Basically after reading this great article : http://www.thesuburbanjungle.com/can-no-man-remember-trash-day (which was awesome – thank you to Troy for sending me this today with an apology :) written by Jenny Isenman (Jenny from the blog, @SuburbanJungle), it made me realize the balance of jobs and consequence if one of us neglects to perform said job.

I’m getting ahead of myself, or actually, not getting to the point, so here goes…

It started with the garbage. Today is garbage day. It’s always Thursday. Always. It is one of Troy’s jobs.

He forgot.

Again.

Life is busy yes, we all forget shit, yes. But as a very busy woman ushering her two kids out of the house in a mad rush on school days, this isn’t something that can easily be added. My morning is pretty much timed to the minute.

6:15-7:00 – workout (unless it’s a hair wash day then that adds another fecking 20 minutes)

7-7:30 – get ready while fielding wren from stealing my makeup, nail polish or some sort of hair clip

7:30-8 – lunches made and feed kids (AKA fight with kids)

8-8:15 – kids dressed and groomed-ish

8:15-8:25 – dreaded gear up for outside – snow pants, hats, mitts, backpacks ready to go and out the door with sometimes 1-2 minutes to spare to gulp down coffee that was made 70 minutes ago but has yet to enter my mouth and is about to be turned off.

So in a fit of panic to get out the garbage on time, the bag broke in the kitchen (yay), the recycling was so over flowing outside that I had to resort to shoving it into a regular bag and chucking all my enviro Kelly points out the window. I then went to make lunches and someone (???) opened the dishwasher last evening thereby halting the automatic timer to wash in the middle of the night, so yay, no tupperware clean for lunches. While seething under my breath, I then slammed a drawer and effectively chopped my favourite water cup into a million plastic particles which Finn replies ‘ Oh mummy that is so bad, that was your favourite, this is just sad’. Thanks little man.

So let’s do another list – I love my lists. The Troy job vs. Kelly job list:

KELLY //

Make lunches

Cliffords pills + feed (although Finn is supposed to do this but he always forgets … sound familiar?)

Dress kids

Feed kids in morning/after school and dinner time

Make sure the kidlets have all the money for WE day/school show+share crap/book orders/milk orders/hot lunch orders in on time

Get them on and off bus

Laundry (another Finn job which results in him telling me he hates doing it the entire time … familiar?)

Clean house (an all encompassing statement which I won’t detail but it takes a bit of time yes?)

Make beds (which doesn’t always happen, my mom will yell at me for this)

Walk the dog (AKA drag the dog down the street while he limps through the salt)

Buy groceries/meal plan

Pay all bills

Prob a few more things, and I’m not listing all the appointments that I have to usher them too either, but on a day to day basis this covers the basics …

 

TROY //

GARBAGE DAY … THURSDAY … TODAY

Take care of hot tub and all outdoor things (but don’t get me started on the fact that when summer hits, I’m the one who always does the mowing, watering, planting, complaining)

LCBO/Beer Store runs (this is very important and he better be doing one today to get me through the weekend before he takes off with the guys) YES???

The Caller: he calls the people I won’t call – pizza guy, rogers, bank … I’m a hermit, a recluse, I dislike conversing with people I don’t know, which he indulges for me, so this is his task.

I can’t think of another one? So as per the lovely Jenny in her blog, what happens if Troy forgets the LBCO run – well this is pretty important, I had better pick another. What if he forgets to take out the garbage? Good old ball and chain will do it. What if I forget to pick up the kids at the bus? Or feed them? Or put pants on them. Yes child services and bye bye mom. So if any slackers are still reading this, which I am sure you won’t be by now, but if you are, for gods sake buy your partner a bottle of booze and say thank you tonight for all the little things that they are doing that are so important and completely mundane. For everyone else who might see a similar list as mine in their to-do list, I say, drink that bottle of booze, all on your own, and do NOT do anything else tonight – you deserve reprieve.

Rant done. Yes I’m still married mom. No we aren’t splitting up. No I’m not depressed. No I don’t hate Troy. Yes I promise to start making beds every day. Yes I’m giving the kids their vitamins.

xoxo