Ok my mom is going to hate that title but it’s the truest statement that flew out of my frustrated mouth this morning.

Wren’s sick.

Enough said for most people but my god she is so DIFFICULT.

Let’s rewind to her sad face on Tuesday night after school in which she asked to go to bed at 5:45 and immediately I felt sorry for her and coddled. Yes I can coddle. I sent her to bed, barely got frustrated (sorta barely) when she woke at 2:45 for 90 min because she needed fresh water by her bedside, a back rub, to pee, and then wanted me to sing to her (I know, clearly she is ill).

SIDE NOTE: Sick kids ALWAYS happens while Troy is out of the country — ALWAYS.

Back to Wren. So my girlfriend texted me that her daughter got some weird mouth/foot/hand illness and wanted to warn me as she was with Wren this weekend so I immediately felt like Wren was destined for this fate. An hour later after pouring over WebMD I was convinced. Wren said her hand was sore while washing, her feet sore when she wore shoes the other day. Yes, strange disease symptoms – check.

Future Kelly would realize that Wren complains a lot. Sore feet, sore hand, sore freckle, she’s dramatic. But Compassionate Mom Kelly didn’t think of this. My sympathy was set, I was going to keep her home from school all week, she was so very sad and sick.

Wednesday she woke up OK, no signs of freaky disease but I’m still Compassionate Mom Kelly, I will keep her home. She needs to rest and I am going to push off work and be awesome mom.

It wasn’t a BAD day really, I mean, there were moments, but until Finn came home, things were rolling and she seemed totally on the mend. UNTIL Finn asked to watch one of his shows and she had to share the TV, UNTIL she refused to let Finn talk to me, UNTIL she didn’t get what she wanted for supper, UNTIL Finn and I had to eat our entire supper while she rolled on the ground, screaming and refusing to eat a thing, UNTIL I told her she was going back to school the next day, UNTIL I asked her to brush her teeth, UNTIL I asked her to do ANYTHING.

By 6PM Compassionate Mom Kelly was submitting her resignation. I feel like when I write these stories, I have to preface I love my kids, but let’s be honest anyone who has to deal with a sick kid knows, and I mean KNOWS, that they turn into little assholes. It’s a fact. Sorry to all you out there who think I’m a jerk. So be it. To those who understand this rant, may your Sick Kid days be few and faaaaaaaaar between.

The Sick Kids Myth List:

  1. Sick kids are grateful you took off an entire day of work to spend time with them
  2. Kids appreciate watching TV in jammies all day
  3. Sick kids nap… for sure right?
  4. They will eat your complete comfort food supper and not flail on the ground for 35 minutes chanting ‘I want milk’ instead
  5. They are too tired to scream for 35 min
  6. Their throat is too sore to scream for 35 min
  7. They go to bed on time because they are so sick and need their rest
  8. They don’t sit there and yell at you because you want a 5 minute break to see the ball game that is perhaps the most exciting game you have ever seen
  9. They always take their medicine
  10. They never choose something completely rational (like eating a muffin) and turn it into something completely irrational (like eating plutonium)

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Yeah she looks super sick…