I feel bad for Troy sometimes as I tend to be a wee bit passionate about things and have a, oh how shall I put it? A fanciful way of looking at life. Hate your job? Quit. Want to write a book? Do it. Crave to be a mime? Reinvent yourself silently! That is life for me and I have been blessed….really blessed. Ten years ago on the day we signed our first mortgage, I got laid off from my job and haven’t returned yet. Don’t get me wrong, I work my ass off. I’ve been in business for myself for this past decade and have had a lot of successes. Troy has to be the most patient husband and for that I thank him :) Some months it’s tight, while others can fund a trip to Thailand. Life of a small business owner is sometimes scary but typically if you are ‘IN LOVE’ with what you do, how can you go wrong?
Sure I buy a lot of my clothes at the grocery store (joe rocks), I don’t have designer bags, and a walk in closet. But I have what counts, and that is the most important part of my life. So as I write this, I want it to be clear that I am not a flake, a hippie, a free loader. I am responsible and I am happy with my life. BUT.
BUT. I also have these other lives that I desperately want to live.
Watching Glee this season has made me rethink my whole position in this world. I love where I live, but this year the gleeks are in New York and it makes me want to sell it all, and MOVE. Like now. Maybe go back to work at a design firm, join in with my colleagues for after work drinks, wear something besides jeans to work. Take my kids to central park on the weekends. Move into a teeny little apartment and say bye bye to yard work FOREVER.
Then there is that other life that’s calling me too. Picking up and moving to Venice. Becoming euro trash, eating croissants and taking a water taxi to the store. It would be hard for Clifford to find a place to poop, but we’d manage and it would be amazing. Am I alone in my erratic decisions? Perhaps, but when I am in the midst, it gives me butterflies that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
All of my lives include my kids (most days) and Troy, but it makes me wonder if the stat that you change jobs X many times in your life, maybe it should translate to your entire life. Maybe you should put yourself out there, do something crazy, sell all your furniture, die your hair black, move to a bachelor apartment, never do yardwork again. I see a trend in the yardwork comments, but I digress.
Regardless, I feel that the winds of change are coming which means that if something new and scary should plop on my doorstep tomorrow, I will love every terrifying second of it. Life is for living, being scared, living as many lives as you can manage with no regrets. So how do I get Troy to get a transfer to SOHO? Hmmmm, project!