I’ve been less then inspired to write blogs this new year due to my furious investment in my book writing so I apologize for my lack lustre performance here lately :) But I know when something strikes me to write as it always seems to happen around 3AM sending my brain into hyperactive mode. So this morning around that time I had a thought. A very jarring thought which I think might happen to other parents out there. (Drum roll) I’ve created a clone of myself. No need for science experiments people, I look no further then to my daughter as proof that I now have a mini me walking around yelling at people. Since I have realized this, I’ve paid very close attention to her past actions that have led to my discovery. Point #1: The Singing Disease It began while on vacation the other week. I was in the chalet with Wren for the afternoon while the rest of the adults braved the big snow storm and skied down the hills. I knew my skills lay in Apres Ski so I declined the activity and hung with the kids. By the end of the day I was losing my marbles, Wren had decided that she was going to sing everything she did that afternoon and she was going to do this for 4 hours straight. All the others deserted me in desperate need for quiet, while I tried every trick I had to entertain her into mute. It didn’t work. While I was super annoyed by this, when I came home I started to notice that I did the SAME EXACT THING. I play music constantly, that isn’t a news flash but I now see that every song that comes on, I’m always karaoke-ing. Even if I just know the chorus, it doesn’t matter, I’m invested. Don’t know the lyrics? I’m humming. I am SO ANNOYING. While
the kids are in school, the music blares while I work and yes, indeed, I noted that I was singing AGAIN. While I type this, a Platinum Blonde (no judging) song just came on which I absently whisper sang to without missing a beat in writing this. It’s a sickness that I have passed on to my kid. Sorry Wren. Point #2: My ‘Life Is An SNL Skit’ Issue Theatrics are not to be taken lightly in this house. It isn’t abnormal for Troy and I to jump into the ‘Liza turns off a lamp‘ skit from SNL. Or when Super Bowl sunday came around I convinced Troy (to his horror) that I was going to talk football during the game like Will Ferrel doing Harry Caray. While on vacation Wren decided we were going to go a talk show while waiting for the rest of the group to finish tubing, she was the host and proudly spewed topics to us in which we had to respond. She also has made up an entire roster of playmates that she spins tales about every day after school. I know this is a skit because it goes something like this: WREN: OK so today!!! Today I played with Billarnya and Jillarediya and we were dancing in the hall and then Pocahontas come over and killed us all! HA HA HA HA HA! It’s all about the gag, the story telling, the theatrics. Again, clone of me. Point #3: The Homeless Fashion Victim I had to talk her out of it, she wanted to wear troys stripped socks today, up to her knees. She loved them and I had to admit they looked adorbs. But what kind of parent would I be if I let her wear mens dress socks up her legs? Then I looked down and my own socks, that were pulled up over my leggings and over my knees. Right. So yesterday when I picked her up at school, her teacher took one look at me and said – I knew it was you, I love your style! It’s exactly like Wrens! To which I couldn’t even reply normally with a thank you, I had to joke that we both looked homeless with crazy hair. God, I am so socially inept. But it’s true, Wren won’t wear pants. No jeans, nothing with a button or a zipper. I get so mad as there are all these cute pants in her drawer, but she only will wear leggings. Pot – kettle – black. I wore jeans to the bus stop the other day to avoid constant spandex and it was so uncomfortable I came home and changed. So yeah there’s that. Point #4: Vampire/Zombie/Death Fascination Wren has always waxed poetic over vampires and zombies. It’s odd, she’ll just come out with random statements and yes theatrical skits (sometimes singing, obviously) in which vampires eat all the people or drink everyones blood and then turns into a princess vampire fairy queen or something like that. Her favourite thing to watch is the Thriller video which I still can’t get Finn to sit through. She shows no fear and threw a fit when I wouldn’t let her watch Zombeavers – hey I can be a good parent once in awhile. The fact she knew this movie existed, well I suppose I shouldn’t admit that I jokingly asked her if she wanted to watch it but that’s beside the point. So all these points aside, I realize that Wren and myself are interchangeable. Clone, mini me, we are one. But then this is what kept me awake at 3AM, I have been told many times over that Wren is ‘difficult’, ‘spirited’, ‘a handful’, ‘strong willed’, ‘pig headed’, ‘annoying’ and that is where I will stop before I feel very bad about myself. Have people been thinking these things about me all along, is my true nature revealed through my 4 year old? Perhaps they have, who knows, but I need to wrap this post up before you are all asleep, so I am left with how my perception of my kid has changed with this self-realization. I now see her in a completely new light. Obviously my little twin as the most incredible, amazing, smart, lovely, hilarious, brilliant being ever born. Obviously.
Wren was super happy to go to school this day…
Our day of song revisited