Lately I have been thinking a lot about a friend of mine who is on the fence on whether to have kids or not. She is nearly 40 which really means nothing these days, but she just can’t seem to figure out what she wants to do. Of corse everyone will give her advice – do it! or never do it! There really isn’t a simple answer I suppose but I think whatever she does decide will have the same amount of pros and cons either way. It’s going to boil down to how you envision your life down the path.
I admit I was on the fence for YEARS as I loved my life, I wanted to travel, I wanted to buy nice things and I just couldn’t see myself as a ‘mom’. Finn is 2.5 now and I can say without a doubt that it will have been the best decision I ever made, but that is because I really like how I have changed. I don’t travel as much, but I will again someday and I can’t wait to take my kids with me to see Venice and Paris and are already planning family trips with friends and all the kids to really awesome locales. Life is different for sure, but it is shaping out to be exactly what I want. Plus it isn’t nearly as creepy to buy all my weird oddities like ugly dolls and woodland creature themed pillows..I just say it is for my kids!
When I think about the reasons my friend doesn’t want a kid, they are valid reasons – she likes an active lifestyle, she wants to travel all the time, she loves to shop and eat out and enjoy the finer things and honestly if I lived a life like that sans kids I would prob have been just fine and I wouldn’t have stretch marks either – ya hoo! Some great friends of ours chose not to have kids too but not because they don’t like them, it just wasn’t something that they really wanted to do and I totally understand and respect that. We all still get together and they seem to love having all the kiddies around to get their fill and then they get to go home at night and chill in silence – doesn’t sound too bad does it? :)
So really when I think about kids or no kids, I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer. I love my little family, I live in a little house in a small town, I like so many things about my situation and I feel so blessed every day… well except when Finn is a crapper and yells at me and won’t go to bed, but I digress. I can say that it was the best decision I ever made, but I can also say in the same breath that if I couldn’t or chose not to have kids in the end that things wouldn’t be so bad either…I’d be traveling, I’d have less grey hair, I’d have a better body, cooler clothes, I would be able to sleep in past 6:30 on a weekend, drink wine and not care about the consequence in the morning…sigh…wait a minute – what side was I routing for? I can’t recall…