When you’ve been with a partner for a long time, I think it’s inevitable that you pick up on their habits, as they become your new normal. You might begin to dig action movies, or your spouse might secretly start enjoying a Nicholas Sparks romance (I wrote you every day for a year! Right Troy?). We can also secretly agree even though we outwardly deny that some days we might dress alike, totally unplanned of corse.
After 20 odd years with Troy I came to a startling discovery last week that yes indeed, I think I have become my husband. I can’t recall what we were talking about but Troy looked at me and smiled and said “Oh My God you have become me!”
When we started to date, I’ll admit, I was high strung, perfectionist perhaps, but bottom line was that I was a completely different person then I am now. Maybe kids has spurred my rapid decline but it’s tough for me to even recall that girl who would not be able to sit down unless the house was spotless, or host a dinner party without flowers and setting the actual table with nice dishes instead of ordering pizza and placing it on the table with a help yourself!
I would go into a tail spin if someone would unexpectedly stop by and I wasn’t prepared with booze, food or a pretty house. Now we spontaneously host on a random Thursday, or 10 people might drop in for a beer all at once, and I love it. My bathroom might not be sparkly but somewhere along the way, it has become unimportant to me.
Years ago when we would visit Troys family in PEI, I would have panic attacks as friends and relatives would pop over at random moments in the day and I might not have my hair done, or be in my PJ’s. The unorganized life would exhaust me then, but I can’t recall when I became ok with it and then began to adopt it into our lives.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a well designed house and everything inside my place has been decorated with care, only because it’s something I love to do. But I don’t have a lot of stuff to clean really, and I’ve chosen to live in a tiny house so that when I do clean it, it takes me an hour and it’s done.
Perhaps it was having Wren which let’s be honest, on a good day, she is a tornado. On a bad day, well, there’s no point in trying. Perhaps I’ve become a little lazy in my old age, or maybe I realize that what is important isn’t a lot of the things I used to worry about.
On the flip side, does this mean Troy has turned into me? I can’t speak for him, although I will say that there was a moment in PEI this summer when he took down his sisters kitchen curtains and re hung them for her as they weren’t on the rod the right way, so you make your own assumptions :)
Matching jumpsuits are a sure sign of spousal awesomeness.