Alright, my last entry was sucky, but whatev…it was what I was feeling and so be it. Now, onto something way more fun..shopping! My sis sent me this link a little while ago for CB2… It’s a Crate and Barrel affiliate but they have a lot of cool artisan items that are one of a kind and they do toot their horn on some cool giving back to the community hoo ha which is pretty cool too. Ohh and they opened a location on Queen West which I am so heading to..although online shopping really is the shit lately much to Troy’s chagrin :) I’m really digging the site and I totally need the little Neville Cabin…like TOTALLY.
Perhaps it’s hormones but more likely it’s a post pardon hiccup, but every time I see the new coke ad on TV about ‘staying extraordinary’ I feel quite like bawling. Obviously enough, it happens when the nurse comes to check on a new baby and I think to myself…have I ever been that extraordinary? A nurse in the birthing unit compared to a graphic designer…huh…it seems unlikely.
I know we all had pre-conceived notions of what our lives will be like when we ‘grow up’, and I was no exception. I lived in small town PEI and all I wanted was to move to the big smoke and have a super cool job, eat out at great restaurants, and wear really awesome clothes. It isn’t like I wanted to be rich, but I wanted to surround myself with culture, creativity and people who inspire me.
So I can’t say that I didn’t live my goals out..I moved to Toronto with no idea what I was doing, went to a design school, met an incredible circle of friends and had a fantastic time going out and experiencing life. Somewhere along the way I married, got a dog, up and went country, and now have two babes in tow. I have never regretted my decisions moving north of the 905 & having a fam damily because I know there is more to life then that trendy lifestyle we feel we need to have in our twenties in order to be considered cool, but at some points I do question whether I should be doing something more…something out of my comfort zone. At this point I need to reiterate that I LOVE my family, but sometimes you need to vent to stay sane.
I think these moments of reflection are important to keep challenging yourself, but at this stage I feel a little like I’m trapped in a box. And when I try to reflect on my reflection, it scares me. Leggings every day, ponytails, spit up on all my shirts and don’t get me started on nursing bras…so f-ing ugly. It’s winter which sucks, we’re stuck inside all day, no cute summer dresses, no fresh glow about you aside from the chapstick we plaster on our lips, and don’t forget the hats we shove on our heads ruining all lovely blow dries. Finn (my 3 yr old) is insane and going through a bad whiney phase in which every day is a crap shoot on whether he will fight me on everything or fight me on mostly everything. Wren (my 3 month old) is my little doll but I haven’t had a full nights sleep in about 6 months and Clifford (my dog) is constantly sick as we try new things to help him (new food this week to curb an itch allergy, joint issues, poop issues…never ending), so sometimes when I look in the mirror at the end of the day, I wonder who that sad, haggard looking person is staring back at me.
Upon conversing with Troy last night, who tells me I actually AM extraordinary, I realize that no matter what someone else tells you, a funk is a funk and you just need to wait it out and try your best to not lose your mind. So no, this isn’t a post to inspire, teach a lesson, or even a story with a resolution. I just felt the need to blather on about the crappiness of new motherhood and this stage in my life knowing full well it is temporary, but still sucking in the meantime. All I can say is bring on spring and the next chapter – I am ready!
Wait, I guess there is a message here…suck it coke.
Jeepers it has been awhile since my last entry. Prob cause I have had a baby on my boob for 2 months – almost three, and it has been a wee bit difficult to type! Anyhoo, I’m back and I have a new years resolution to write more and better stuff in this little diary of my shit show life :) Things are crazy but as the new year has come and gone and I didn’t really get to celebrate seeing as my son power barfed on my neighbors floor around 7pm, and then on me around 8pm, I was sadly in bed at 10pm and missed the whole cross over to 2012.
But now that I’ve had time to think about it, I really want 2012 to be exciting and fresh…so that means time to get obsessed about something!
I’m not sure how many of you know but I did do a little bucket list item last year and that was write my first book. No knowledge of how to do it, but with a fun idea in mind and a lot of late nights I managed to eek out 85,000 words…yikes! Don’t get too excited, it wasn’t like I wrote some profound novella on the time space continuum, but instead a supernatural teen drama that everyone knows I love to read about…stop laughing…:)
No, I’m not going to get it published, but it was something I’ve always wanted to do and it feels really good to complete something that seemed quite daunting. In actuality I think I thrive on daunting sometimes. It can take me awhile to get up and going (due to my terrible procrastination) but once I get into something I become obsessed and I think obsessed can sometimes be a good thing. It can give you a reason to get up in the morning, and also to make you feel like you are still a cool person, relatively speaking, and have a life outside of your kids.
So my first task is to edit the book and take a writing class and really just keep going. I love doing it, so even if I’m bad at it – why not do it anyways and have something that I do just for me :) Oh and I’m also going to lose 10 pounds, but isn’t that what we ALL say.
I have no picture for this entry so instead, here is the dog bed I just bought (and spent 200 bucks on) only to have my dog be afraid of…seriously what is wrong with him…
Hullo my friends! I wanted to send a quick blog post to introduce my wee baby girl born October 23 :) We are all doing well, and loving the new family dynamic…even though some days are a complete shit show and I can never keep up with my laundry…and sleeping is non-existent…and she farts like a trucker :)
I recently bought one of the Octo necklaces from a previous post and I just love it. It was SO affordable and I went back to their website for more goodies. Now I am totally into the woodsman theme – so cute! Enjoy…
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